Saturday, February 24, 2007

and i forget the simplest words for things

is this love? or is this simply turmoil at its best.

crackle. pop. you were always the best at lying to me.

I think i am speaking to someone invisible because there is no one person that does all this to me at the same time at the same intensity for the same duration. and goddamn that was a run on sentence but I really don't care about that. I want my emotions back. I wish I could join you but the pills are fucking me up. The others make me worse, the others make me worse.

how long will it be till I can't carry on? and the minutes move so slowly, and I feel so empty.
s y s c
t o a r
a u d e
r a
v t
e u
r
e

this world isn't good enough for me. it's simply better.
s l o w. fastfastfastfastfastfast

Let me be lonely and I'll savor the rest and the best till last and the best till last

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

scraping out my insides, you make so much (common) sense

My heart beats out of time to the rest of my body.

and how could that word blank out above all others? it completes the sentence after all, only the best. CLASSDISMISSED.

I can't write poetry anymore because my mind wanders. IT FADES useless gun cocked and shoved down girls' throats. splatter. blood and guts aren't so bad it's just the principle of the matter.

"so desperate. so sure. so desperate. so clean."

my MISERY. my DESIRE. my LOVE. my PAIN. my CONTENTMENT. my RAGE.

MY misery. MY desire. MY love. MY pain. MY contentment. MY rage.

the stress changes the meaning.

"you boys will grow up to rape" (tntllu whenever).

SPIT OUT THE WORDS LIKE YOU ACTUALLY MEANT IT. I mean nothing and i heard you baby I heard you it doesn't mean I'm listening.

I will not be bodyfucked and mindfucked and soulfucked like you do to everyone else that exists. scooters, vacation, fall? as though the words go together. the song goes throught movements as such. I can't explain my rage only that it's animalistic.

I REFUSE! But I have to. But I refuse. But I have to. But I refuse. BUT I HAVE TO!

Oh decisions. Who can ever make them?

Monday, February 12, 2007

SAYS NO DRUGS AND THAT MEANS NO!

ho-hum, let's start a fight. I can take your scene on anyday of the month.
yes yes that's all good and fine -- YOU'RE A SLUT WELL AREN'T YOU!

The future sounds nice. Less noise. I just got that ain't i pathetic.

i love you dear, you're honest. you sweet talker you!

I dont' kick tunes I'm just the poster girl for a generation of people who don't fucking care. we are different from those 40 years ago. anything is an excuse for division.

fools! let's all dance for the fire.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

ohhhh bee-hayve.

hahaha as though I would write dishonestly about you. you're interesting, keep it up.

and the organ pulses and the synth beats on and on.

posture is appealing and perfection is such a rat race. I'm already worn out and I'm too young for this.

big grin. "you the festival?" haha.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

isn't it funny how

it all slips away when you don't realize?

it moves, it moves

and the way you breathe is interesting. and you're an evil child.

my heartache alone could save you. I don't deserve you. you consume me stop that.
stabbed through the throat with scissors and all she could do was laugh. and no one will report the news when I die.

I need to face the fact that you will never want me. i hate being who I am and my stupid, stupid heart.

no one knows about this all and i am glad. i am not a soldier and the cold consumes me.