chains

you broke me



into this person that I never wanted to become, but was going to anyhow. I love you still.



For it? I don't know.



I want to be tough and I hope I am succeeding at giving the image of self assuredness, at the very least. I don't want to be afraid anymore.

I don't even know what I'm running from. Always running, never giving in. I can't. Especially not now.

And all these nights, where you just feel so desperate and alone and wanting to cry.

but I will not let myself cry. I can't. I can't let anything happen to me, can't put anyone in the position where they could take advantage of me. The last time I let someone in I got fucked over. And I still love her. Still I do.

you're all I have and even if you're part of me, there's still something there.

they sold me dreams that I pocketed too

"my girl, I know what it is to be you

but I must say

I would never want to be you

again"

don't let it

my senses uprooted from somewhere.

I was a kid once, I swear, with gold hair and light skin, a charmer if any, and all the wiser than I am now.

funny, it's a week till christmas and eight days to a year older and I don't feel changed.

well of course I am, but at this second no. was the epitome of teenage catastrophe, with bloodshot eyes and all the rest, screechy laugh because really, what is there that I could say that would change a thing? She spends her times with her old friends and new, walls spinning and pen ran dry with lack of inspiration. She gets nowhere. She sees too many things. She falls in love.

She is me, but not so much anymore. My palindrome, I suppose, my reverse that could be the same, it has enough potential anyway.

the calluses on my fingers peel and dry, cracked under pressure and dry cold air. It makes me smile, however small and my back hurts.

loneliness makes me glamorous.