when the lights went black

we fell in and out of love so easily
repeated letters and phrases, over and over again
though I did, I really did mean it in the end

I recognize the song in your headphones, in your heart
you look lost and I feel that stretch
between seriousness and playing it off as some fun

and my mediocrity shines through like no other
like crystals set in gates, like china trapped in glass
and really, my skin is disgusting, I want to unzip myself
and walk some great distance for you

I stay away from the specifics, but I want someone to hold my hand and mean it

oh can't you stop me from thinking so much?

itrwywfm v 2.0

you don't have an original thought in you

and we are lonely planets, constellations, missing links and half broken pieces. I can't imagine you underwater, but it would be nice if I could.

x out the numbers. I want you to notice me though you wouldn't. it's sad and pathetic but perhaps I have surpassed you in the vague category.

definite. not defiant. not definate.

ridiculous, not rediculous.

why can't anyone spell?

about a girl

I know that I am a machine, but don't you still believe that I can feel?
That I'm real somehow? Really now?

Why don't you spin some dreams for me
lace and wine, ghosts in the arrangements
"and it never, it never made her happy"
she brooded over counterfeit dollars and loose change

hey babe, don't you fall down, I'll be there with a little hand
Champagne breaths; phrases becoming sentences
(I hate roses because they remind me of everyone that has ever left me)

I don't think I have ever loved anyone.
It's just too easy.

Sometimes I feel the words expand and contract in my head.
sometimes I wonder if there's anything worth being in this place.

can someone prove me wrong? can someone stop me from sealing the walls off in my own little world?

I read my old journals from junior high school and realized what an asshole I was. What the hell did I know? Everything was buried. Everything I know now was not apparent then. All I knew was that I was miserable and nothing was right about the world. I still think about killing myself on average three times a day. It's mostly out of habit now -- the only security I have now is my bullshit misery.

is this really what you want from me?

fell into the well long ago

i never meant to learn it, to recite poetry with hands tied behind my back.

HURT ME. it's all i deserve