seventeen

three more years till i actually have to grow up

brittle breakable girls

always feel like shit on holidays

though the sound resonates through both ears
i don't feel anything from it
perhaps it's the meds that make me feel like this
or her, or anyone
because the world doesn't revolve around me
fuck your new year
and fuck your sunshine and open casket
I want a temporary death, so I can test it out
and get a refund if I'm not satisfied
guaranteed
ha ha ha, but nobody's laughing
and it's just me alone and the static
and your voice crooning in my ear. fuck your sunshine
fuck your glory days
these aren't mine
I won't peak
merry fucking christmas

and never have I ever

felt so bad about this
i'm so sorry
but not really
because i'm all tears and crocodile wishes
all loves and lonely heartbroken words
and ways and clocks and ticking ticking time
i fail to rhyme to change.
"and i literally broke the english language"
sorry to hear that. i'm starting to look like you
i hope you know
i dont think i'm brilliant enough for anyone
"just because you don't like a person"
no, more because a person told me i was an not-genuine failure
why thank you
i know you meant it well