thoughts on a sleepless night.

once upon a time I wanted things I couldn't have
and once upon once upon everything there was something
I recall days were spent dreaming away circumstance
and there's always this tune in my head, I mimic yours

I'm all over, I'm not over you, with everyone expecting me to
be someone I'm not, be the rhythm that carries you through
I'm sick of promises not kept and words unsaid, of comfort zones
and you wishing that I was her while I'm here on my own

throw me something I can comprehend, anything you send my way
I'm sure I can decipher, you're my last thread to a normal world
where my ears don't ring and my heart doesn't sink every time
they look past me to check for someone else

all that's left is me waiting by the telephone, I'm out and about
strung out on words that could be said as I listen to chatter-laughter
for those ten minutes I feel like I'm home until you have to go
and there's no way I'm hearing back from you again till I remind you

that I still exist
that I'm still yours
that we made an agreement
that I'm a different person

I know what you are to me but what have I ever been to you?
there's no such thing as both ways and I can fight all by myself
as tides change and cars rush by, I want to belong to you
and have you be my very own to look after at least for a while

but you belong to a girl long gone, your well wishes replaced
with harsh orders and gunshots, with boots and never knowing the time
will you go with what she says, although she wishes to wake up alone
halfway across the world, where you have never been and may never go?

I wish you could stay with me and feel my constancy, my soft words
though our love is young, I know we can make it through the distance
in miles, in time, in your voice, in your eyes when you look past me
like so many other people have done before you and some will do after