when people ask why i stayed with him for so long, it was because i could.
the reason i fucked him on the first date, the reason i said i loved him, and ultimately the reason i broke it off with a five minute phone call just shy of a three year anniversary.
there is something to be said about monogamy.
...i certainly don't know what it is right now, but i'll get back to you when i figure it out.
and i'm not angry at him in the way that i'm not angry at the catholic church or people who cut me off in rush hour traffic -- there are certain disgusting inevitabilities in navigating your twenties on the postage stamp i call home, the collection plate preying on the poor or people who must have gotten their license on a technicality because JESUS CHRIST IT'S CALLED A BLINKER USE IT.
he was home. i was gonna have his kids, picked out their names, was gonna inherit his house -- now he stands to do that alone. and i'm happy about that.
so here's to pregnancy tests taken in mcdonald's bathrooms, here's to under the cover blowjobs in a DIY house surrounded by sleeping crustypunks, here's to canada and lying on the hood of a collective car watching meteor showers, here's to a night i cried because i thought he'd be angry i dyed my hair, and here's to the first notch on my bedpost. long after i sell this bed frame, i will not forget him.
