oh man, was that just cute (the title, subject line, whatever you call that bullshit I just wrote)
my life is filled with rejection and unrequited little things, I suppose. I'm a sigher but not a buyer, a stewer but never a doer (until now and what exactly has that gotten me?) gearing myself up for endless rejection sucks, but I guess it's what I'm going to have to do. put that armor on and try not to think about her eyes as you barrel through crowds and run without ever thinking. I think about blood letting as an artform and that scares me. I imagine diagonal cuts and blood pooling in my backward cupped hands, trailing and splattering as I flex my wrists. I imagine a kid with bones poking out of zher/zir skin, and when I realize that person is me, I smile. It's awful but I want to be thin so much. my problems won't go away, but I at least will have my A-cups back and my gaunt jaw. I want to be damaged.
I want her to take care of me and want me but that's never gonna happen, is it?
