you have EVERYTHING in the world.
and yet you want more, you want things to be perfect. you have a man who wants to wed you in june beneath trees with your bare feet and his bristly beard and you have the girl who has stolen many hearts with her deft hands and cloudy eyes. I love her and you love her but I will step aside because she loves you so much more, a fierce cutting blinding love that would slice through the deftest of bones and skin. When I held her and she let her guard down, it was a private victory for me. crying yourself to sleep is outdated, but I've done it so many times I've lost count. And I want to cry right now, I really do, but that would be too cliche, so I just write until I make so many mistakes I can't stand myself anymore. I wish you could understand what you have and cherish it. I have this habit of falling for the wrong people.
my relationship with eating has always been bad, but it's getting worse. I ate half a meal after not eating since 11 and I felt sick sick sick, guilty sick.
I feel the softest of things, of blue skies, and for once I want something not to sting.
